Good news --
Many of you are familiar with my journey with Crohn's Disease. I'll sum it up for those of you who are not. If you're familiar with the background, feel free to skip the entire italics portion and jump down to the news at the bottom!
So. I began developing Crohn’s at age six but wasn’t diagnosed until sixteen. When I rededicated my life to Christ in April 2009, I began pursuing my healing from the disease.
I started off the 2010 year (yes, 2010 – not 2011) at my church. My pastor is super prophetic and hears the voice of the Lord very clearly, and soon after midnight, he called me over and told me that I would receive a huge healing in 2010. A couple minutes before he told me this, I felt burning and tingling in my intestines, and I had two people walk up to me and tell me he was healing me, and I also felt like He spoke straight to my heart that I was being healed. Later that day, I watched part of the onething conference, and they called out healing for Crohn’s disease, and I really felt like I truly received it. That night, two friends showed up unexpectedly and said that God said they had to come pray for me for healing from Crohn’s.
With all of these crazy things happening on January 1, 2010, I fully believed that I was healed. I started telling EVERYONE that God had healed me. I had very few people stand with me in agreement and faith. Many were doubtful, which made me angry, to be honest. I wanted it so badly that I didn’t want people to disagree haha!
Halfway through January 2010, I moved down to Purdue for college. Immediately, God started pulling up all of these father wounds in my heart dealing with abandonment and rejection and a skewed perception of the Father heart of God.
In early April, I started having Crohn’s symptoms again. My world was crushed. I fell into depression because I felt like an idiot. I had told EVERYONE that I was healed. I looked foolish for believing, and what would other’s think of God? Would they lose trust in His healing power? Moreso, MY view of God’s healing was tarnished. Since I had so many unresolved father wounds, I saw God as abandoning me in my illness. I saw Him as taking away a gift He had given to me.
In Late April, God broke in with major heart healing for me. I was healed of a lot of father wounds, and I was able to see God has a loving Daddy for the first time. I could feel His Daddy love. It was then that I decided that I still believed I was healed – my body just didn’t know it yet, and satan wanted to fool me into thinking I had never been healed so that he could steal my healing! I started commanding my body into alignment with the Kingdom of God and with the Word of God and would speak bible verses out loud whenever I was feeling sick. I would say, “the fact is that I’m not feeling well, but the TRUTH is that I’m healed!” This threw a lot of people for a loop because they thought that I was in denial – but really, I just began standing in faith and speaking my healing forth.
During the summer of 2010, my health got even worse. I started the Maker’s Diet in a feeble, proud attempt to be healed. I eventually humbled myself and went back to my doctor and told him that I was indeed not healed and that I needed medicine. It was such a struggle to take the meds because I was so dead against God using meds to make me better – I wanted Him to heal me supernaturally! Not through medicine! To make things even more difficult, the meds are pretty new and don’t have a lot of research, but they have a ton of negative dangerous side effects. I was so scared. But again, I felt like the Lord was telling me to take them, and so I humbled myself and started the meds.
By fall 2010, my health was terrible. The medicine and diet seemed to work for a month or so, but in September, my intestines started bleeding very badly. The Crohn’s had never been this bad. I was in pain and weak, but I was still holding onto my healing and refusing to admit that I was ill. In October, I went on a church retreat, and I got major deliverance from abandonment issues, and the ladies heard God say that once those were taken care of, the Crohn’s would leave. Spiritually, Crohn’s is caused by abandonment, rejection, guilt, false-burden bearing, self-hatred, etc. Crohn’s is an auto-immune disease. In the spiritual, if you have self-hatred, you are calling yourself the enemy. In the case of Crohn’s, this triggers your body into believing that you are the enemy, and your immune system starts attacking your digestive system. Hence, if I got the abandonment issues taken care of, I’d mentally and spiritually realize that I’m not the enemy, and then my body would realize it and stop attacking itself. SO.. Since the retreat in October 2010, after the abandonment stuff was taken care of, I've been able to KNOW that God loves me and that He's not ignoring my cries for healing, which has really solidified my faith in Him and His healing power.
One day at church, a lady prayed for me and said that the Lord was saying that the disease was for a season and that my healing was coming but that I needed to get what God wanted me to get out of the process. It really gave me peace, and I stopped pursuing my healing. I started waiting in patient faith.
Now to the good news! Between September and December 2010, my doctor ordered CT scans and blood work and lab work to see what was going on in my body to see how to change my meds to make the bleeding stop. First he did the blood work. Every single time, the blood tests came back completely healthy. 100% healthy. Absolutely impossible considering how sick I was. No anemia, even though I was losing tons of blood. No raised white blood cell count, even though Crohn's is an autoimmune disease in which white blood cells multiply and attack the intestine's lining. No infection in the blood. Nothing.
God gently reminded me that one time some people prayed that the blood of Jesus would be flowing through my veins, and that’s why my blood keeps coming back perfect time and time again!
Next I had lab work. Came back normal. Next, a CT scan. The scan showed no disease. None. But the doctor “knew” that wasn’t possible since I was bleeding so much and in so much pain, so ordered a colonoscopy in which they actually go in with a camera to see what the intestines look like.
This colonoscopy was on Tuesday, and my test results literally showed nothing. Completely healthy intestine. No ulcers or scar tissue or infection. Nothing. No sign whatsoever of Crohn's disease. Makes NO SENSE considering that I’ve been bleeding so badly for months!
I’m very hesitant to say that I’m healed. I’m not sure if I’m hesitant because I’m scared to open my heart to the possibility after so many months of heartache,or if it’s because I haven’t really felt like God spoke to me that I’m healed at this moment. I am, however, calling it a miracle. Because it IS a miracle. It is a miracle that my intestines are completely healthy.
JESUS WINS!
[EDIT - Friday, January 7, 2011]
I'm going to correct something. I am going to say.. I AM HEALED. It's hard for me to do so, but I stepped on in faith last night, and I feel as if God gave me the faith to believe Him. I am healed. No relapses. Crohn's must bow it's knee to Jesus Christ. I am healed!
[EDIT - Friday afternoon]
Just wanted to stop back in and say that more test results came back. The intestine cells themselves are perfectly healthy and normal. YAY JESUS!
