cooooooome over to my new blog! no worries - i'm still keeping this one! my new one is still a work in progress, but i'm planning on using it to further my writing skills. it'll be more "professional," whereas i will keep this one for more personal/informal stuff.
PS - wordpress is way better than blogger, and you can import your blog spot blog. just fyi :)
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Soliloquy
notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice menotice menotice me don't hurt me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice me notice
Sleep
My heart won't sleep and is holding my body hostage.
My neck is waging war, and my eyes are about to get shot.
Tomorrow backup will course through my veins.
Backup in the form of a tiny Arabican seed.
This is learning what freedom really is.
Insanity.
My neck is waging war, and my eyes are about to get shot.
Tomorrow backup will course through my veins.
Backup in the form of a tiny Arabican seed.
This is learning what freedom really is.
Insanity.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Frustration
Fatigue.
I feel like there's a big knot in my spirit.
Sick of working it out.
Blah.
Unintelligence.
Scream.
I feel like there's a big knot in my spirit.
Sick of working it out.
Blah.
Unintelligence.
Scream.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Ethics
I'm taking an intro ethics philosophy class this semester, and my first assignment was to answer the following question. I just thought I'd post my response because I LOVE this kind of stuff, and I think it's so cool how everything points back to God. (I had fun practicing my biblical worldview!)
Question: Socrates argues that human ignorance is the cause of evil. Do you agree?
I initially began this post agreeing with Socrates’ claim that human ignorance is the cause of evil. However, with a bit more thinking, I chose to alter the statement. I believe that human ignorance is, in itself, evil and that human ignorance is the cause of evil simply because evil begets evil. The book states that Socrates equates knowledge with virtue, and I would have to agree with this concept. If knowledge equals virtue, than the opposite is also true – ignorance equals evil. Therefore, the more knowledge a person possesses, the less evil they possess. I feel that as one receives knowledge, he or she cannot help but to be changed by it. This knowledge is a cause that produces an effect and leads to the process of becoming more virtuous.
With all that said, I do not agree that “self-knowledge” is key but rather knowledge as an entity. In my opinion, it is impossible for one to reach full self-knowledge. People do things on a regular basis without any idea as to why. Even science falls short on explaining different human actions and reactions. If one cannot reach perfect self-knowledge, then it would follow that one could not reach a level of perfect virtue. Because of this, I agree when the book mentions that attaining perfect wisdom transcends human ability.
In order to measure something, you must have a standard to measure it against. Hence, it follows that if one is trying to measure his or her own level of virtue, a perfect standard of virtue must already exist. Socrates stated that this standard is knowledge, which I agree with; however, I feel that this poses another question. What exactly is that entity of knowledge? If it has the ability to cause change, doesn’t it have to be “living and active,” so to speak? Just some food for thought!
Question: Socrates argues that human ignorance is the cause of evil. Do you agree?
I initially began this post agreeing with Socrates’ claim that human ignorance is the cause of evil. However, with a bit more thinking, I chose to alter the statement. I believe that human ignorance is, in itself, evil and that human ignorance is the cause of evil simply because evil begets evil. The book states that Socrates equates knowledge with virtue, and I would have to agree with this concept. If knowledge equals virtue, than the opposite is also true – ignorance equals evil. Therefore, the more knowledge a person possesses, the less evil they possess. I feel that as one receives knowledge, he or she cannot help but to be changed by it. This knowledge is a cause that produces an effect and leads to the process of becoming more virtuous.
With all that said, I do not agree that “self-knowledge” is key but rather knowledge as an entity. In my opinion, it is impossible for one to reach full self-knowledge. People do things on a regular basis without any idea as to why. Even science falls short on explaining different human actions and reactions. If one cannot reach perfect self-knowledge, then it would follow that one could not reach a level of perfect virtue. Because of this, I agree when the book mentions that attaining perfect wisdom transcends human ability.
In order to measure something, you must have a standard to measure it against. Hence, it follows that if one is trying to measure his or her own level of virtue, a perfect standard of virtue must already exist. Socrates stated that this standard is knowledge, which I agree with; however, I feel that this poses another question. What exactly is that entity of knowledge? If it has the ability to cause change, doesn’t it have to be “living and active,” so to speak? Just some food for thought!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Boot Camp
Following is a short article I wrote for the upcoming newsletter of a local Right to Life chapter. I attended a prolife training camp in July, and the president asked me to write a review of what I brought home from the camp. I didn't have a lot of time to write it, so I don't feel like it is my best work. I submitted it a few days ago, and they loved it! woo hoo!
When one hears the words “boot camp”, images of weaponry, drill exercises, and unified camaraderie often come to mind. Through this vital training camp, soldiers gain the abilities to defend, attack, and protect. On July 15th and 16th, a similar kind of boot camp occurred in the war for the unborn. Every summer, the Allen County Friends for Life hosts a prolife camp with the goal of training and equipping high school and college-aged students for battle. Throughout the weekend, attendees are armed with an arsenal of knowledge and instruction in defending life. This year, I had the honor of attending the camp along with over a hundred others. I had never before taken part in a large prolife youth gathering, and the result was powerful! Unified and like-minded friendships were gained along with necessary skills that encourage all to live by Proverbs 31:8. (“Open your mouth for the speechless, in the cause of all who are appointed to die.”) A strong voice was raised up as those of all different backgrounds came together in unity, forgetting differences and pushing ahead towards one goal. All in attendance spent the two days in rigorous training under front-line defenders of the unborn, including Live Action’s Lila Rose, Indiana Family Institute’s Sue Swayze, Life Training Institute’s Scott Klusendorf, and many more. We soldiers were drilled as we went from convocation to workshop to small group meeting, receiving practical wisdom on how to protect life politically, scientifically, philosophically, and apologetically. Regardless of having cultivated a heart for the unborn since childhood, I was personally delighted to return home armed with a cache of new perspectives and tactful tactics. (For the record, it is indeed possible to win the prolife debate without losing our opponents!) As the boot camp ended and our army divided and departed to our separate homes, jobs, and campuses, I could not help but to see the cause of life advancing. In the words of Lila Rose, “At the end of the day, truth and love always win, and we have truth and love on our side.”
Saturday, August 6, 2011
To Lay Down and Die
You say that you just want to lay down and die. You say that this life is too hard, that it would be easier not to go on.
There is a reason you gravitate towards death. This is the reason you were created.
Your heart was not meant to undergo those words, those experiences, those emotions, those activities. They make you miserable and provoke you to long for the release of death.
You were made to experience so much more.
But here's they key. You're right on track.
You long for death because your heart was created to long for it. Death is not the absence of life; it is the entrance into it! You're right - you DO need to lay down and die. You feel miserable because you were never meant for the life that you're living. That misery that you feel is meant to push you away from those things which torment your heart and towards that Thing which pleasures your heart.
Die to yourself. Die to your desires. Die to your passions. Die to your own decisions, your own choices, your own control of your own life. Pick up Christ! Die so that He may live in you and pour out His abundant life through you! Come to the Thing that is the source of pleasure evermore! That life is the true release that your heart is looking for.
Don't be afraid. Go ahead - just lay down and die. I promise that you'll never regret it.
There is a reason you gravitate towards death. This is the reason you were created.
Your heart was not meant to undergo those words, those experiences, those emotions, those activities. They make you miserable and provoke you to long for the release of death.
You were made to experience so much more.
But here's they key. You're right on track.
You long for death because your heart was created to long for it. Death is not the absence of life; it is the entrance into it! You're right - you DO need to lay down and die. You feel miserable because you were never meant for the life that you're living. That misery that you feel is meant to push you away from those things which torment your heart and towards that Thing which pleasures your heart.
Die to yourself. Die to your desires. Die to your passions. Die to your own decisions, your own choices, your own control of your own life. Pick up Christ! Die so that He may live in you and pour out His abundant life through you! Come to the Thing that is the source of pleasure evermore! That life is the true release that your heart is looking for.
Don't be afraid. Go ahead - just lay down and die. I promise that you'll never regret it.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Write
I want to write.
Not for this,
Not for that.
But a heart gush.
A river that pulls a generation in,
that pulls on the strings of their hearts,
that pulls them towards their God.
A writing to wake a generation,
Mighty words --
Not a bedtime story to lull them to sleep,
But a tale to put fire in their bones,
to provoke them to life.
I want to write.
I want to write.
Not for this,
Not for that.
But for me.
For them.
For Him.
Not for this,
Not for that.
But a heart gush.
A river that pulls a generation in,
that pulls on the strings of their hearts,
that pulls them towards their God.
A writing to wake a generation,
Mighty words --
Not a bedtime story to lull them to sleep,
But a tale to put fire in their bones,
to provoke them to life.
I want to write.
I want to write.
Not for this,
Not for that.
But for me.
For them.
For Him.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
The Time
we are destined for greatness.
this is not a time for pulling back but for pushing forward,
a time to embrace conviction, not compromise.
will you run the race set before you,
or are you going to be left behind at the starting line when others roar past you?
this is not a time for pulling back but for pushing forward,
a time to embrace conviction, not compromise.
will you run the race set before you,
or are you going to be left behind at the starting line when others roar past you?
Friday, May 13, 2011
Deep Breath
It's that time of the week again - Five Minute Friday! I encourage you all to check it out, try it out, and link it up! :)
Prompt: Deep Breath
GO
Sometimes in the hustle and bustle of things, we forget to breathe. Why do you think there are so many sayings such as, "take time to stop and smell the roses"? Have we as people become so used to this fast-paced, breathless life that sprinting without oxygen has become our normality?
Runners know how to breathe. Their knowledge doesn't appear over night. It takes hours and hours of blisters, sweat, and muscle aches to learn how to equip their bodies with the proper oxygen it needs in order to function optimally.
Singers know how to breathe. Beauty is birthed from the power bestowed by controlled diaphragmatic coastal breathing. Without hours of training, even the best singers would be reduced to mere sound-makers.
This is my proposal: We must learn how to breathe. We must practice and condition and cling to the Breath-Giver so that our song will be a pleasing one - one that carries us across the finish line as we run the race set before us.
STOP
Prompt: Deep Breath
GO
Sometimes in the hustle and bustle of things, we forget to breathe. Why do you think there are so many sayings such as, "take time to stop and smell the roses"? Have we as people become so used to this fast-paced, breathless life that sprinting without oxygen has become our normality?
Runners know how to breathe. Their knowledge doesn't appear over night. It takes hours and hours of blisters, sweat, and muscle aches to learn how to equip their bodies with the proper oxygen it needs in order to function optimally.
Singers know how to breathe. Beauty is birthed from the power bestowed by controlled diaphragmatic coastal breathing. Without hours of training, even the best singers would be reduced to mere sound-makers.
This is my proposal: We must learn how to breathe. We must practice and condition and cling to the Breath-Giver so that our song will be a pleasing one - one that carries us across the finish line as we run the race set before us.
STOP
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Spurgeon Devotional
I read this devo about a month ago, and the last chunk pulled at my heart and has stuck with me since. I thought I'd share it so that it can bless others. (And it never hurts to have it tucked safely in my blog for future reference!) :)
"My heart is like wax; it is melted in the midst of my bowels." – Psalm 22:14b
Our blessed Lord experienced a terrible sinking and melting of soul. "The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity, but a wounded spirit who can bear?" Deep depression of spirit is the most grievous of all trials; all besides is as nothing. Well might the suffering Saviour cry to his God, "Be not far from me," for above all other seasons a man needs his God when his heart is melted within him because of heaviness. Believer, come near the cross this morning, and humbly adore the King of glory as having once been brought far lower, in mental distress and inward anguish, than any one among us; and mark his fitness to become a faithful High Priest, who can be touched with a feeling of our infirmities. Especially let those of us whose sadness springs directly from the withdrawal of a present sense of our Father’s love, enter into near and intimate communion with Jesus. Let us not give way to despair, since through this dark room the Master has passed before us. Our souls may sometimes long and faint, and thirst even to anguish, to behold the light of the Lord’s countenance: at such times let us stay ourselves with the sweet fact of the sympathy of our great High Priest. Our drops of sorrow may well be forgotten in the ocean of his griefs; but how high ought our love to rise! Come in, O strong and deep love of Jesus, like the sea at the flood in spring tides, cover all my powers, drown all my sins, wash out all my cares, lift up my earth-bound soul, and float it right up to my Lord’s feet, and there let me lie, a poor broken shell, washed up by his love, having no virtue or value; and only venturing to whisper to him that if he will put his ear to me, he will hear within my heart faint echoes of the vast waves of his own love which have brought me where it is my delight to lie, even at his feet for ever.
"My heart is like wax; it is melted in the midst of my bowels." – Psalm 22:14b
Our blessed Lord experienced a terrible sinking and melting of soul. "The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity, but a wounded spirit who can bear?" Deep depression of spirit is the most grievous of all trials; all besides is as nothing. Well might the suffering Saviour cry to his God, "Be not far from me," for above all other seasons a man needs his God when his heart is melted within him because of heaviness. Believer, come near the cross this morning, and humbly adore the King of glory as having once been brought far lower, in mental distress and inward anguish, than any one among us; and mark his fitness to become a faithful High Priest, who can be touched with a feeling of our infirmities. Especially let those of us whose sadness springs directly from the withdrawal of a present sense of our Father’s love, enter into near and intimate communion with Jesus. Let us not give way to despair, since through this dark room the Master has passed before us. Our souls may sometimes long and faint, and thirst even to anguish, to behold the light of the Lord’s countenance: at such times let us stay ourselves with the sweet fact of the sympathy of our great High Priest. Our drops of sorrow may well be forgotten in the ocean of his griefs; but how high ought our love to rise! Come in, O strong and deep love of Jesus, like the sea at the flood in spring tides, cover all my powers, drown all my sins, wash out all my cares, lift up my earth-bound soul, and float it right up to my Lord’s feet, and there let me lie, a poor broken shell, washed up by his love, having no virtue or value; and only venturing to whisper to him that if he will put his ear to me, he will hear within my heart faint echoes of the vast waves of his own love which have brought me where it is my delight to lie, even at his feet for ever.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Mother's Day
Happy Mother's Day to all of the mothers out there, physical or spiritual.
Church this morning was so powerful. God blessed us with an abundantly sunny, beautifully gorgeous day. When I approached the front of the building, there were red carpets laid out leading into the church. Many men and young men from the church were dressed nicely and were handing out a single flower to each woman who entered. Each woman was escorted into the sanctuary by one of these men.
I felt so valued by these extravagant acts of love.
During worship, God's presence showed up so strongly. His tangible love was gushing out all over us. I was weeping under the revelation of how much God prizes and values women and mothers. His adoration, approval, and delight were overwhelming. I looked at these extravagant acts of human beings, and I realized that all of this incredible honor and romance originates within the heart of God. It took my breath away and knocked me to my knees.
I have honestly never felt so cherished and honored as a female. I have always had a hard time viewing femininity as beautiful and honorable because of the way that I've grown up, but today I saw a new side of God's heart.
I love being a woman. It's such a precious gift.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Motherhood Should Come With...
It's that time again! Five Minute Friday! Join in and link up :)
Prompt: Motherhood Should Come With...
GO
Motherhood should come with a heart-guard.
Now I am not a mother of physical birth, but I am a mother of spirits, of souls. Mothering is in the very core of my being and its essence exudes from every pore of my heart.
But isn't that how it's supposed to be? Made in the image and likeness of my Creator -- the ultimate Abba Daddy.
Mothering is a wonderful gift... one that should come with a warning label. Or maybe a nice pair of shoes. Or maybe just a heart-guard.
Because when you're a mother, you can't help but offer all of yourself. You can't help but offer your heart, your hugs, your tears. Their pain becomes your pain. Their hurts become your hurts.
Sometimes I think that their tears sting your eyes more than their eyes.
But the good news is that mothering DOES come with a heart-guard. His name is Jesus. He became your pain, your hurts, your tears so that you can become their joy, their strength, their comfort.
Don't be afraid to reach out and love. Your heart is guarded.
STOP
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Realizations
My heart is tearing.
I got a 99% in two of my classes, a 94% in one, and a 98% in the last. One of those classes was A&P, and another was microbiology.
You'd think I'd be ecstatic.
I'm not.
I looked at my final grades, and I wanted to cry.
Broken.
Actually, I was pretty shocked that 1) I did so well and 2) that I was feeling broken.
Then God spoke.
There's no satisfaction in earthly pleasures.
They can't bring fulfillment.
They can't bring lasting joy.
I've been operating out of a spirit of perfectionism rather than a spirit of excellence. How idiotic! How vain! Grasping at the wind. And what for?
Tonight was rough. My youth pastor is leaving in six weeks because God has called him into something else. After many tears and many divine occurrences, I ended up getting to talk to my spiritual mama and then ended up staying late and helping my youth pastor clean up. This was so wonderful because I got to speak to him and his wife one-on-one. I left so encouraged. One thing that he said stuck with me. He said that school exists for God's purpose and my pleasure. He also asked if I have freed myself to dream.
I just started to let myself dream a few months ago. This is when I knew that I must change my major, yet again. It's stressful because I've spent my life squeezing myself into other people's molds. The fear of rejection is one that I'm still getting free from. I've just recently discovered that I CAN make a huge difference and that the world IS mine to interact with.
Pastor Brock and Alissa really encourged me. Alissa told me how beautiful I am, and both of them really encouraged me in my faith and my attitude. Because of last night, I'm committing to a season of dreaming and to a season of healing.
Saying good-bye just got so much harder.
I got a 99% in two of my classes, a 94% in one, and a 98% in the last. One of those classes was A&P, and another was microbiology.
You'd think I'd be ecstatic.
I'm not.
I looked at my final grades, and I wanted to cry.
Broken.
Actually, I was pretty shocked that 1) I did so well and 2) that I was feeling broken.
Then God spoke.
There's no satisfaction in earthly pleasures.
They can't bring fulfillment.
They can't bring lasting joy.
I've been operating out of a spirit of perfectionism rather than a spirit of excellence. How idiotic! How vain! Grasping at the wind. And what for?
Tonight was rough. My youth pastor is leaving in six weeks because God has called him into something else. After many tears and many divine occurrences, I ended up getting to talk to my spiritual mama and then ended up staying late and helping my youth pastor clean up. This was so wonderful because I got to speak to him and his wife one-on-one. I left so encouraged. One thing that he said stuck with me. He said that school exists for God's purpose and my pleasure. He also asked if I have freed myself to dream.
I just started to let myself dream a few months ago. This is when I knew that I must change my major, yet again. It's stressful because I've spent my life squeezing myself into other people's molds. The fear of rejection is one that I'm still getting free from. I've just recently discovered that I CAN make a huge difference and that the world IS mine to interact with.
Pastor Brock and Alissa really encourged me. Alissa told me how beautiful I am, and both of them really encouraged me in my faith and my attitude. Because of last night, I'm committing to a season of dreaming and to a season of healing.
Saying good-bye just got so much harder.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Bin Laden's Death: What's the Right Response?
I can't help but to notice today that Christians seem to be divided over this question.
Some are elated because justice has been served.
Some are judgmental because others are elated.
Some are broken because another soul has ended up in hell.
Some don't even know how to feel because they don't know how they "should" feel.
Why all the complex emotions?
Why all the confusion?
What's the "correct" answer?
Here and here are two resources that I personally believe explain things well.
In the end, it's between you and God. Ask Him how you should react, and He'll let you know.
Some are elated because justice has been served.
Some are judgmental because others are elated.
Some are broken because another soul has ended up in hell.
Some don't even know how to feel because they don't know how they "should" feel.
Why all the complex emotions?
Why all the confusion?
What's the "correct" answer?
Here and here are two resources that I personally believe explain things well.
In the end, it's between you and God. Ask Him how you should react, and He'll let you know.
Friday, April 29, 2011
If I knew I could, I would...
Five Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama. I encourage you to check it out.. and join in if you wish! (I'm hooked!)
STOP
Prompt: If I knew I could, I would...
GO If I knew I could, I would.
Simple as that.
No strings attached.
If I knew I could, I would run.
I would dance, I would sing, I would leap.
I would create. I would love. I would soar.
I would dance, I would sing, I would leap.
I would create. I would love. I would soar.
If I knew I could, I would try harder.
I would cast off these chains that weigh me down and hold me back and keep me from being who I am in my inmost parts.
I would cast off these chains that weigh me down and hold me back and keep me from being who I am in my inmost parts.
I would laugh. I would grow. I would bring beauty.
I would be a life-giver. I would be a fire-starter.
I would leave no one that I encounter without a taste of love.
I would be a life-giver. I would be a fire-starter.
I would leave no one that I encounter without a taste of love.
But you know what the best part is?
I CAN. No strings attached.
I can. Not because I can, but because He did.
He already went ahead. He made a way, and He makes it possible for me to enter into this abundant, adventurous life through faith.
This beautiful, glorious life.
This full life.
This exchanged life.
This full life.
This exchanged life.
It’s calling to me..
It’s whispering.
It’s whispering.
What am I waiting for?
STOP
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