If I knew I could, I would...

Five Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama. I encourage you to check it out.. and join in if you wish! (I'm hooked!)

Prompt: If I knew I could, I would...

GO

If I knew I could, I would.

Simple as that.

No strings attached.

If I knew I could, I would run.
I would dance, I would sing, I would leap.
I would create. I would love. I would soar.

If I knew I could, I would try harder.
I would cast off these chains that weigh me down and hold me back and keep me from being who I am in my inmost parts.

I would laugh. I would grow. I would bring beauty.
I would be a life-giver. I would be a fire-starter.
I would leave no one that I encounter without a taste of love.

But you know what the best part is?

I CAN. No strings attached.

I can. Not because I can, but because He did.

He already went ahead. He made a way, and He makes it possible for me to enter into this abundant, adventurous life through faith.

This beautiful, glorious life.
This full life.
This exchanged life.

It’s calling to me..
It’s whispering.

What am I waiting for?

STOP

Easter

He is alive!
Are you feeling supercharged?
You should be!
Jesus is alive,
He's sitting in heaven,
and His Spirit lives within you.

I've gotten such a new revelation of the liveliness of Christ this past few days. Jesus isn't a caricature - He's GOD, and HE'S ALIVE. He is literally sitting up in heaven looking down on us. Right now. He took our sin. He BECAME our sin. We tortured Him and killed Him. And He's alive.

That should put some fear in your heart. It did mine.

It's easy to lose touch with reality. I am the worst of sinners. But I know that He loves me. He loves you, too.

Praise the Lord for His mercy.
Praise the Lord for the cross.
Praise the Lord for His unending love.
Praise the Lord.

The Hard Love

This didn't turn out how I expected. But that's the point, right? I'm not linking up this week because I do want to address this topic in more thought and more depth later.

Five Minute Friday
Prompt: The Hard Love

GO
It's a hard dance, this life. Sometimes whirling, sometimes stepping, sometimes buckling, sometimes falling. It's a hard dance.

Dancing and loving. So different, yet so the same.

Neither comes naturally.
One follows, one leads.

Pain and work and dedication and frustration.
Beauty.
All meshed into one.
Blended and melded.

Taking up your cross. Denying yourself. Opening up those dark places.
Those dark, painful, vulnerable, wounded places.

Following blindly. Trusting. Pursuing. Giving in.
Believing, creating.
Bleeding.
Loving.

This hard love. This hard dance.

STOP

Anointing

You know how "the pen is mightier than the sword"?

Well, He's raising up an army,
an army of women armed with pens,
His words flowing over their hearts and out onto paper.
Writing is warfare, ladies.

Longing

I'm longing for you tonight.
Are you longing for me, too?
I'm closer to you now than I've ever been,
yet I can't help but to feel how far away you are.
Tonight, I'm sort of weary of you.
It's not so much you as it's my unbelief and lack of trust in myself.
I know that I will have the grace to let you close when the time is right.
The thought really scares me, though.
I want time to speed up, yet
I want time to slow down.
I can't help to wonder how you feel.
What will it be like?
On nights like these, I just want to be held and loved
and know that I'm safe in your words,
in your commitment to us.
I know I don't have to fear you,
but I'm still so ashamed.
I'm working on it.
I hope you pray for me.
It seems like you're so far away,
yet I feel a stirring inside of me which tells me that you're nearby.
I feel like we'll know before next Valentine's Day.
I'm not sure if I should hope for it or not.

On Distance

Today I am trying something new. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone, and I'm stepping up to meet Lisa-Jo's linky challenge. Her Five Minute Fridays encourage bloggers to take five minutes to simply write whatever comes to mind - no editing allowed! Todays' prompt:

On Distance.

START 

Distance. The thing that scares me most. Have I come far enough? Am I too far behind? As I write, panic pushes its way up into my throat. What if what I write isn’t good enough? What if I make myself look like a fool – with all these people reading? My fingers ache to hit the backspace button. I think my heart aches even more.

Distance. When I look back on how far I’ve come, I am shocked. I am not anything near the person I was two years ago. Next week will mark two years since God crashed His way into my life, picking me up out of the miry clay and loving my cold heart back to life.

It’s really crazy when you think about it. Who am I to even measure distance? Who am I to say that where I am is not far enough?

After all, this isn’t about me.

This is about a Man who loves me enough to take on my sin. To bare his heart to me, to whisper gently in my ear how proud He is of me.

I may not be perfect, but I am being perfected.

And He whispers... you are right where you need to be. 

END

untitled

I hate how hard it is to forgive.
I hate that I tend to hold onto unforgiveness.
I hate hate.

New Beginnings

I've received so much freedom in the past week. For the past few months, I've been going to meetings for 20-29 year olds at my church, and the senior pastor and his wife have been pouring into us, raising up the next generation of world-changers and church leaders. We've been receiving training, searching our hearts, and listening to God for our destinies. I've been pushing into God on my own, becoming more disciplined and really pursuing Him as best as I know how. In the midst of this, my heart has changed. I know now that I need to change my major. I've sort of subconsciously known all along, but I was afraid to believe it before because I was living under the heavy yoke of others' expectations. Jesus has been beckoning me to take His light yoke and follow after Him instead. I'm not sure what happened, but something inside of me shifted this past week. I'm no longer afraid of what others might think about the path that I'm choosing for my career. I realize now that it's MY life to live, and it's His life to control. I've laid down my life before Christ, and He's awakening dead and sleeping parts of my heart. He's guiding me down new paths, and He's showing me the freedom that comes with it. For the first time in a long time, I believe in myself. I believe that I AM a world-changer and that I CAN bring huge shifts in the US and that nothing can stop me if I'm in God's will. I believe in myself because I believe in He Who lives in me. It's so exciting and also a bit scary!

Please keep me in your prayers. I'm not positive yet which major to choose. Pray for wisdom, guidance, and more awakening in my heart <3