You say that you just want to lay down and die. You say that this life is too hard, that it would be easier not to go on.
There is a reason you gravitate towards death. This is the reason you were created.
Your heart was not meant to undergo those words, those experiences, those emotions, those activities. They make you miserable and provoke you to long for the release of death.
You were made to experience so much more.
But here's they key. You're right on track.
You long for death because your heart was created to long for it. Death is not the absence of life; it is the entrance into it! You're right - you DO need to lay down and die. You feel miserable because you were never meant for the life that you're living. That misery that you feel is meant to push you away from those things which torment your heart and towards that Thing which pleasures your heart.
Die to yourself. Die to your desires. Die to your passions. Die to your own decisions, your own choices, your own control of your own life. Pick up Christ! Die so that He may live in you and pour out His abundant life through you! Come to the Thing that is the source of pleasure evermore! That life is the true release that your heart is looking for.
Don't be afraid. Go ahead - just lay down and die. I promise that you'll never regret it.
2 comments:
this is amazing, I love your writing style. this should get out further where is could reach at risk people. I'm not sure how you'd go about it, maybe a christian organization would post it.
thank you so much! that's really encouraging to hear. I feel called to be a writer, but it's still hard for me to be completely vulnerable in front of people.
at the time, I felt this message burning on my heart, but I didn't know who it was for. I decided to write it in my blog for safekeeping.
I found out later that a friend of mine was hospitalized at the time of the writing due to suicidal thoughts. I showed it to her, and she felt like it fit :)
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