Longing

I'm longing for you tonight.
Are you longing for me, too?
I'm closer to you now than I've ever been,
yet I can't help but to feel how far away you are.
Tonight, I'm sort of weary of you.
It's not so much you as it's my unbelief and lack of trust in myself.
I know that I will have the grace to let you close when the time is right.
The thought really scares me, though.
I want time to speed up, yet
I want time to slow down.
I can't help to wonder how you feel.
What will it be like?
On nights like these, I just want to be held and loved
and know that I'm safe in your words,
in your commitment to us.
I know I don't have to fear you,
but I'm still so ashamed.
I'm working on it.
I hope you pray for me.
It seems like you're so far away,
yet I feel a stirring inside of me which tells me that you're nearby.
I feel like we'll know before next Valentine's Day.
I'm not sure if I should hope for it or not.