Bride

Sometimes I wonder
if I will ever get married.

I'm holding tight to prophecy.

I know I'm so young.
I know I have so much time.

But it's hard.

Knowing my destiny lies so tightly entwined in my future family.
Wondering if the desires I've had since I was little to be a young bride will be crushed.
Seeing my best friends get engaged and married, one by one.

It definitely makes me face the true condition of my heart.
Insecurity.
Jealousy.
Self-hatred.
Judgment.

To name a few.

I know I have an eternal Bridegroom to prepare for.
But sometimes it's hard.
I should be so much more excited for the wedding of the Lamb.
But I'm not.

Here's to honesty.
And a heart that needs worked on.